Thursday, October 31, 2019

Introdution to Psychology Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1500 words

Introdution to Psychology - Essay Example It is essential to have a clear idea about these five main approaches (also called perspectives) in psychology in order to comprehend the vast and vital role of this scientific study in human life and the different areas of life and work. Significantly, an approach may be comprehended as a perspective or view that involves certain assumptions or beliefs about human behaviour and it is essential to comprehend the various methods of these approaches. In a close understanding of these approaches to psychology, it becomes evident that that every approach incorporates several different theories within it which share various common assumptions. "Most psychologists would agree that no one approach is correct, although in the past, in the early days of psychology, the behaviourist would have said their approach was the only truly scientific one. Each approach has its strengths and weaknesses, and brings something different to our understanding of human behaviour. For this reasons, it is impo rtant that psychology does have different approaches to the understanding and study of human and animal behaviour." (Approaches to Psychology). ... Significantly, the physiological approach to psychology assumes that biology is the underlying aspect of human behaviour and it has reductionist and deterministic functions. The reductionist approach is concerned with the explanations at a more basic level, whereas the deterministic approach assumes that behaviour is directly determined by biology. The physiological and biochemical changes in human beings come under the subjects of study in the physiological approach to psychology and it is a productive as well as popular approach to psychology. The physiological approach to psychology is productive in the sense that it has provided explanations in a range of areas of psychology, such as the mental health, individual differences, and social behaviour, and has given therapeutic interventions in psychology including drug treatments for depression. As a popular approach to psychology, it has caught the public imagination and the genetic theories of this approach offer a handy framework for understanding ourselves. The behaviourist approach to psychology is an important approach which rejects the investigation of internal mental processes, emphasises the examination of observable behaviour as well as the importance of the environment. According to this approach, behaviour can be comprehended as the result of learned associations between stimuli and responses to these stimuli and the main theories include the classical conditioning theory of Pavlov and the Operant conditioning theory of Skinner. "Behaviourism is concerned with how environmental factors (called stimuli) affect observable behaviour (called the response). The behaviourist approach proposes two main processes whereby people learn

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Article analysis 2 Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

Analysis 2 - Article Example The results of the study showed a different picture of what is usually assumed concerning marketing. This is shown below: Literature Review From the literature review of the article, we get to know that three factors namely price, product and promotions are used in ensuring that business operate efficiently and marketing campaigns are conducted effectively. The article makes an analysis of price and in fact talks of price being a major factor in terms of ensuring customer numbers are achieved. The article emphasis on the need for a good pricing model since price is responsible for generation of income (Etzel, 2004). Another important factor was promotion in that it determines the way people are informed of a certain brand, service of product. As a result, managers should make use of promotion methods that enhance brand perception such as messages which persuade, inform and linger in minds and hearts of consumers (Daniels, 2009). These factors influence the behaviour of consumers in d ifferent sections of the world and in relation to ChiangMai, the four P’s (Price, Product, Promotion and Place) are important in marketing tourism in the region. The place in this article looks into ChiangMai as a tourist destination with a lot of attractions to offer in terms of nature, culture and the hotel industry (Kandampully, 2007). Hotels in the region rely on the four P’s of marketing to enhance their product offering and thus some 19 hotels decided to conduct a research based on these factors. In this case, questionnaires were deployed for the purpose of conducting the study and these questionnaires were given to managers and hotel guests. Analysis The marketing study was done based on certain variables and the study measured the implementation of marketing practices of hotels and resorts against customer satisfaction levels based on product offering, pricing and promotions. In terms of ownership, the hotels in ChiangMai are either corporate or individually ow ned and this affects that way businesses are marketed. For instance, solely owned hotels have unlimited liability unlike corporations while age of the hotel is also a big factor since many of the hotels in ChiangMai have been operation for a long time. The products offered by these hotels were also surveyed and this included the rooms, types of services, size of rooms and it was found out that most of the hotels offer both sleep and food services (Swarbrooke, 2012). In the process of serving customers, the data analysis revealed that offering food in addition to lodging created better revenues. Apart from offering good products, the services that were offered by ChiangMai’s hotels were superior in the fact that the managers considered services such good hygiene, prompt and courteous service were highly considered in marketing. However, it is the level of implementation the marketing strategies and goals that was important in the process of undertaking this study. In terms of making use of price factor, most hotel managers made use fair pricing systems to attract customers (Sangkaworn, 2008). However, promotion was considered among the high priorities of managers in terms of marketing since hotels made use of friendly gestures and hospitality to attract and retain customers. When the two set of factors were correlated for the purposes of the study, it was found out

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Burger King Business Communication Case Study

Burger King Business Communication Case Study Burger King is a fast food Corporation. It is the second largest fast-food chain in the United States, trailing only McDonalds. The company franchises more than 10,400 restaurants and owns about 1,000 for a chain wide total exceeding 11,455, with locations in all 50 states and 56 countries. The company serves 15.7 million customers each day and over 2.4 billion Burger King Hamburgers are sold each year across the globe. Miami entrepreneurs James McLamore and David Edgerton founded Burger King Corporation in 1954. REASONING The reason as to why I have chosen to write a report on Burger King is to illustrate its communication strategies and its communication effectiveness. Business Demographics Demographics are attributes used for marketing purposes. Burger King uses the means of networking, media and the internet to communicate between different locations. The organisation uses its demographical strategies to meets it consumer interests and also for profitability to the company. Burger Kings demographic strategy is well planned and well laid out, making it easy to market the organisation to its customers who are from different age groups and from different cultural backgrounds. Organisational Goals Burger Kings main aims and objectives are to serve its customers with the bests meals and services a fast food company could possibly provide. To achieve this, the organisation has a zero compromise policy for the communication of its aims and objectives. The aims and objectives are highly important to the organisation, for it is the only way the organisation maintains its integrity amongst it competitors and its customers. Burger Kings aims and objectives are well set and structured, making it relatively easy to communicate them within the organisation and also to its customers. The organisations main source to communicate its aims and objectives are through the media, banners, coupons, handouts and also through the internet. ORGANISATIONAL CULTURE AND ETHICS Burger King is an organisation that serves customers from various backgrounds and cultures. This makes it extremely important to manage communication in the most delicate manner as possible. The organisation has to keep in mind that not all customers consume all the menus the company offers. For example: customers who are from an Indian background wont eat beef, customers who are from a Muslim background wont eat pork. Its vital information like these that the organisation has to keep track of in order to meet the needs of people who are from different backgrounds and cultures. Management of Knowledge Resource Management of knowledge resources is critical for any organisation. It helps in ensuring that vital knowledge is passed on within the organisation so that the organisation can maintain its ever long trend of providing the quality of work or service as it has been providing in the past. Burger King is one such Organisation that takes pride in its quality of service that it has been known of providing. Achieving this however took a lot of work and experience for the organisation. To ensure that knowledge and experience is passed on within the organisation, the Burger King Management team relies heavily on their old staffs who possess the skills and experience needed for the organisation to maintain its quality of work. The old staff members train and groom the new recruits so that they can cope with the organisations requirement standards and deliver quality services to its customers. The Management team of Burger King also holds staff meetings and orientations to ensure that vital kno wledge and experience is equally shared amongst each and every member of the team. The also shuffle the teams together so that there is an equal balance of knowledge and experience within the teams. Group Dynamics Effective communication plays a key role in any organisation. It helps in avoiding conflicts and contributes to the development of a team within an organisation. Burger King also has certain procedures in place to ensure effective communication takes place within its teams. The communication procedures are well constructed. To ensure there is a practice of effective communication within the teams; the team members are expected to communicate with each other using the universal language which is English, they are also expected to wear their uniforms at all times and address each other with their names, team members are also expected to actively participate in any company meetings or seminars and verbally communicate with their team supervisors or managers. These measures ensure that there are no unnecessary conflicts within the teams and that the teams have a healthy team surrounding to work in. It also ensures that there is maximum development in the team and that the teams are alway s in a positive attitude while working. Effective Communication also contributes to the betterment of the organisation as a whole and also lets the team members within the organisation to improve on their communication skills. Meeting Management Meetings are an essential to any organisation. To ensure meeting runs effectively the Burger King Management Team has meetings every week and it demands all of its staff members to contribute towards the meetings. The staff members are expected to openly discuss any company matters or issues that may be concerning the staff members. Like wise the management is required to take into consideration the matters and issues and deal with it in a manner suitable for the organisation or to provide the staffs with alternatives to overcome the issues. Open discussions in meetings are extremely important because it is one of the ways which can contribute towards an effective and constructive meeting. Burger King also has hand outs which are issued to each member participating in the meeting prior to the meeting commence. This is done to ensure that there are no disruptions in the meeting and that each and every member of the team is up to date with what the meeting is about and what is expected of the members and what they are suppose to be discussing during the meeting. Stakeholders Stakeholders are the most important assets to an organisation. Therefore Burger King is always in touch with all those who have an interest in the organisation. The organisation does this by holding annual general meetings in which the stakeholders take part in. These meetings are held in order to discuss the organisations performance and status. It is also to discuss the stakeholders interests in the organisation and also what would be some of the actions that could be taken in order to raise the organisations performance. This is an effective means to communicate with the stakeholders because it creates opportunities for the stakeholders to put forward their personal views and thoughts which could help benefit the organisation. The organisation also sends out e-mails, letters, and barouches on a weekly basis to its stakeholders to keep them informed on how the company is coping. Networks Burger King has various ways of communicating with people who may potentially have an impact on the development of the organisation. To name a few of these ways; is through networking, barouches, banners, internet and media. These are some of the methods the Organisation uses to communicate with people who are interested in the organisation. These methods of communication are simple and yet an effective way for the organisation to interact and keep in touch with others. It is vital for any organisation to communicate with people regardless whether it is the staff members or the customers. This is to show that the organisation has an interest in the people and that they welcome peoples decisions and views towards the organisation. RECOMMENDATIONS Burger King has a well structured means of promoting the organisations. However though, this has room for further improvements. This is said because, Burger King promotes its self by using mostly the universal language English This is a possible set back for the organisation because in many countries English is not the first language. Therefore the organisation should consider advertising using other languages rather than just using English as their preferred language of advertisement. To achieve its aims and objectives Burger King should ensure that its aims and objectives are understood not only by their staff members but also their customers as well. So to ensure that this happens, Burger King should also do organisational promotions whereby their senior staff members speak to his/her team personally and explain to them using practical examples of what is really required of them. The organisation should employ more variety of people from different backgrounds in its crew rather than just having one dominant race. This should be done so that the sales team is better equipped with the knowledge from different races and that they can use this knowledge for promoting sales. Knowledge is a vital part of any organisation and therefore it should be give the most priority. The Burger King organisation should be more focused on its Knowledge Resource Department and should improve on its IT sector to manage all its vital information and knowledge. The organisation should hire more IT professionals to handle all its information and all its company knowledge sectors. To improve Group, the Burger King Organisation should concentrate more on improving staff communications by making it mandatory for any new recruitment to have English competency. This should be done so that there is less time consumption on training new recruits from different backgrounds. It is essential for any organisation to hold meetings and for those meetings to succeed the meeting has to laid out in a planned and proper manner. The organisation should introduce a system whereby not everyone speaks at once but where one person is allowed to speak first and complete what he/she has to say and only than should the other person be given the chance to speak. Also there should be limitations as to what one has to say rather than just having an open discussion where there is no order to what is being said or discussed. Stakeholders are vital assets to the organisation. Therefore Burger King should not only have annual general meetings but they should also hold monthly meetings with their stake holders so that they can build more on their professional relations and come up with more innovative ideas of as to how they can contribute towards further development of the organisation. Network is also an important part of an organisation. It helps in building more exposure for the organisation with others. Burger King should do a little more than just using the internet or the media to network. They should send out teams on a weekly basis to go out and promote the organisation by chatting to people in the public about the organisation which would be more effective and would have a better result to its networks departments. Findings Upon completion of this report it can be conclude that Burger King has done a great amount of work to achieve its Effective Communication Aspects. The organisation has a well structured means of communication within the organisation and also with the public or its customers. However, if the organisation takes heed of the recommendations and apply them to their communication strategy, the organisation should see an even better result as to what they are experiencing now in regards to their Communication Aspects.

Friday, October 25, 2019

Stephen Coonts flight Of The Intruder: Summary Essay -- essays resea

Stephen Coonts' "Flight of the Intruder": Summary This week I read Flight of the Intruder by Stephen Coonts. I read from page 1 to page 437 for a total of 437 pages. The book is about an A-6A Intruder (a naval bomber) pilot named Jake Grafton. In the first few pages Jake's best friend and B/N (Bombardier/Navigator) is killed by a Vietnamese soldier's rifle. In this mission their target was a "suspected truck park." Jake goes into despondency (depression, despair) for a days and tries to convince his squadron leader that the targets are worthless, that thousand of Americans have died en route and returning from these. The leader replies that he is not in control of the targets, the Pentagon and Air Force is. Jake gathers information from maps and a friend in the navigation department to learn about a target he wants to go after: The Vietnam Communist Party Headquarters. The three figure that if they succeed, they'll have a good chance of hitting the leader of the party. Grafton and his bombardier, Virgil Cole miss the building completely and just hit a few bystanders and blow craters in the sidewalk. Just when the two are about to be court-martialed, President Nixon gives the orders of unauthorized bombings anywhere in North and South Vietnam. Grafton and Cole fly their next mission with a EA-6B for SAM (surface-to-air missiles) suppression. This plane only carried antiradiation missiles to destroy the SAMs and their radar. ...

Thursday, October 24, 2019

Starion Entrepreneurship Case Analysis

M3786 NEW VENTURE PLANNING SAMPLE CASE ANALYSIS REPORT STARION ENTREPRENEURSHIP SAMPLE CASE ANALYSIS REPORT Starion Instruments, headquartered in Sunnyvale, CA is a private company with core IP assets based on the exclusive license of groundbreaking medical research in the field of laser tissue welding. Starion hopes to revolutionize the electrosurgical field with the introduction of products like its cautery forceps used for cutting and sealing (cauterizing) tissue. The overall annual market for these types of medical devices is in excess of $1 billion.Furthermore, Starion’s promising IP and continued research goals will enable it to gain a significant foothold in the worldwide medical technology industry with sales reaching $150 billion annually. The foundation of Starion’s IP lies in the hands of Dr. Michael Treat’s research. In the 1980s Dr. Treat and Dr. Larry Bass, a plastic surgeon resident at Columbia Presbyterian, started experimenting with lasers in sur gery. With a humble beginning the two surgeons worked from Columbia Presbyterian’s 17th floor lab on their innovative research.Together, these two pioneers invented the field of laser tissue welding – using thermal energy to rejoin tissue severed in surgery. However, this technology remained uncommercialized for several years after its initial discovery. Shelly Monfort, a Stanford-trained engineer, began her entrepreneurial career in 1986. With a background in R&D on medical devices as well as start-up experience, commercializing those devices, Ms. Monfort and two engineers, Ken Mollenaur and George Hermann, were involved in the creation, funding, and exit of at least 6 surgical device companies from 1990-1996.Ken Mollenaur maintains experience designing and building medical prototypes. George Hermann possesses extensive experience navigating the medical device approval process; working with the major regulatory bodies in the industries. By June 1988, Ms. Monfort had s igned a license with Columbia; Starion Instruments could now begin building a staff and a product to bring to market. With their exclusive licensing deal in place, Dr. Treat left Columbia for Starion’s California headquarters and began developing the product.In October 1999 Starion instruments, represented by Dr. Treat, made its debut at the American College of Surgeons Conference, the single most important industry event for people who would buy and use the product. At the time, the company’s goal was to raise $750,000 in capital. Ms. Monfort assembled $2 million from private investors along with a pair of venture capital firms. At the time Starion’s valuation was $7 million. This was a crucial point for the company. Success or failure is often based on an initial market foray.The direction chosen by management in this situation had an irrevocable effect on the company’s overall performance. A capital infusion of only $750,000 severely limited the compan y’s marketing and development capabilities and was a gross underestimation of the company’s capital needs; a clear representation of Ms. Monfort’s inexperience. Furthermore, the company’s additional capital requirements were highlighted by the investors’ willingness to infuse a $2,000,000 round when only solicited for $750,000. To Ms. Monfort’s credit it was her colleague and mentor, Dr.Thomas Fogarty, a legend in the surgical world, who insisted on the additional capital. The company planned to go to market with a package consisting of single use disposable forceps and a disposable battery pack. The forceps would carry a price tag of $410 and the battery pack would list for $39. The effort was directed toward an open surgery application. Open surgeries accounted for approximately 80% of procedures performed at the time. Starion planned to eventually expand to laparoscopic devices once it gained additional market share.An important aspect of Starion’s strategy was to market its product as not only a superior tool as far as results, but also to highlight the simplicity and cost effectiveness of its offering. Surgeons, the principal buyer in this space, are known to be fairly innovative, willing to try new things. However, it is only with repeated use that they gain skill with a given device. Therefore, it is critical that they see not only a cost advantage, but a significant increase in product performance in order for considerable adoption to take place.Starion’s choice to focus on the core buyer requirements magnifies their intimate knowledge of the space and contributed greatly to the company’s overall success. The decision was made to concentrate on an open surgery strategy. Early adoption, particularly for a small fish in a big pond, is critical to any start up. This direction, spearheaded by management, was a deft decision for several reasons. The customer base in this field consists of an end user with a complex hierarchy and buyer process. However, it is ultimately the end user’s decision which makes or breaks a product in this ield. Therefore, the decision to launch the product for use in open surgeries as opposed to laparoscopic procedures vastly increased the attractiveness to the early adopter base. The open surgery tool strategy enabled doctors to rely on backwards compatibility (the ability to simply fall back on the tried and true cut and suture method), another key point with â€Å"experimental† tools and methods. Prior to Starion’s laser tissue welding breakthrough, the most common electrosurgical tool was the monopolar device, also known as the Bovie device.With this technology, the patient is wired to a grounding pad that provides a path for the electrical current to flow. The surgeon uses an electrode to pass a high-frequency electrical current through a patient to cut and cauterize tissue in a selected area. The Bovie requires a genera tor that costs between $7,500 and $10,500 a year. In addition, each operation requires disposable (one time use) grounding pads and electrodes, whose combined cost is 5 to 6 dollars per procedure. The disadvantages include (relatively rare) situations in which the device causes burns to the patient at the side of the grounding pad.Additionally, the Bovie’s high energy output can interfere with the ever growing mass of electronic equipment in modern operating rooms. An alternative to the Bovie device is the UltraCision, also known as the harmonic scalpel. This device uses ultrasound to generate the heat needed to cut and seal tissues. Ethicon Endo-Surgery Inc. a Jonson & Johnson subsidiary owns UltraCision. Starion estimates that the ultrasound based product has annual sales of approximately $100 million. Like the Bovie device, the UltraCision system requires a reusable power supply, which costs approximately $15,000.The system also uses an electrical cable that costs $630 and must be replaced after approximately 100 surgeries. In addition, single-use tips that cost approximately $325 are also required. Given the relatively high degree of cost associated with marketing medical technologies, Starion pursued a strategy in which it would segment a large market and avoid going head to head with its competitors. Due to its small size and relative weaknesses, Starion was forced to parse the market even further deciding to promote its technology specifically for use in a single procedure which would greatly reduce the overall cost of their product launch.The variable costs, excluding sales commissions, for both the battery and forceps were projected to equal about 40% of the sales price. Fixed costs, excluding R&D, were expected to total $1. 1 million in the first year of operation and $1. 65 million in the second year. R&D for the first year was projected at $1. 25 million and $1. 45 million for the second year. Given the industry standard, this team had the n ecessary components for a successful start-up. The initial engineering and development of a product like Dr.Treat’s is best done in a small workshop by passionate and dedicated serial entrepreneurs. However, the team’s inability to surrender the reigns of the company inexorably inhibited the firm’s future growth. Conversely, the small, dedicated team was able to react dynamically to the market positioning their product with care in a segment which allowed a gain in market share. This short-term success may well translate to continued development; however, the degree of future shareholder value is limited by an order of magnitude equal to the founder’s shortsightedness.In the medical device field, there are some significant barriers to entry; the combination of patents, expensive/extensive clinical trials and research in conjunction with strict federal government oversight can overwhelm smaller companies, and help protect established players against compet ition. The FDA is the primary regulator of medical devices, and its mandate is to insure that the devices that reach the market are safe and effective. The medical device industry is populated by a small number of major device manufacturers and diversified medical companies in addition to the large number of small companies.Dominant players in the industry include: Johnson & Johnson, Baxter International, Becton Dickinson, Medtronic, Guidant, Boston Scientific, and U. S. Surgical (a unit of Tyco). The combined market capitalization of the industry leaders mentioned is approximately $300 billion with the smallest just over $9 billion (Source: Bloomberg). Medical products and services companies invest around 8% of annual revenues in R&D, this compares to 3 to 4% invested by U. S. manufacturers (Standard & Poors). However, the true path to innovation in this industry is through mergers and acquisitions.Due to overwhelming development and production costs coupled with a large upfront ma rketing outlay, partnership and acquisitions are the industry norm, not the exception. Even well capitalized companies will often choose the route above, rather than face the huge barriers that exist in this market. The Four P’s: Product, Promotion, Protection and Price. Product – Revolutionary technology. Promotion – Combination of in-house and franchised channels. Protection – Strong IP backed not only by the company but by Columbia. Price – 91. 45% savings†¦Speaks for itself.Further data was not supplied however the following is an example of some of the continued financial analysis we would conduct. Financial analysis: Profit ratios: Gross Profit Margin = (Sales revenue – COGS) / Sales Revenue Net Profit Margin = Net Income / Sales Revenue Return on total Assets = Net income available to common stock holders / Total Assets Return on stock holders equity = net income available to common stock holders / stockholders equity Liquidity R atios: Current Ratios = Current Assets / Current liabilities Quick Ratio = (Current assets – Inventory) / Current liabilities Inventory Turnover = COGS / InventoryLeverage Ratios: Debt-to-Assets Ratio = Total Debt / Total Assets Debt-To-Equity Ratio = Total Debt / Total Equity Cash Flow Analysis: Determine appropriate debt levels, payout periods and additional analysis to confirm liquidity. Net Profit Margin = Net Income / Sales Revenue First Year: -4,639,464/4,000,000= -1. 16 Second Year: -689,333/8,000,000 = -. 086 Gross Profit Margin = (Sales revenue – COGS) / Sales Revenue (4,000,000 – 1600000) / 4,000,000 = 0. 6 Pricing strategy: Pricing is currently very aggressive and sales strategy prudent.Initial management was executed properly, however it is likely that changes will need to be made in the near term to achieve significant market share. Partners: Strategic alignments are mainstays in this industry and should be aggressively pursued. Strategic investment ; merger; acquisition. Intellectual Property: IP is an essential aspect of any medical device company given the simplicity of the concept; the device may come up against some protection issues. Early indications seem to support the strength of the company’s IP, however it is certainly a concern which warrants further investigation.Note: Both Starion and Columbia would be behind any major IP issue. Given the state of the industry and the unique positioning of the company’s IP prospects a partnership/acquisition would be our main point of recommendation in the near term. During this transition it may be prudent to rethink the current organizational structure, with a specific focal point on senior management (when moving to a new phase often times senior management, who were suited for the initial stage or better succeeded by a new team).RECOMMENDATIONS: Our recommendation consists of three key elements that will drive profitability, continued growth, and increase market share – adding shareholder value. Breakeven and ultimately profitability can be achieved (1) by instituting aggressive pricing to both vendors and sales force, (2) the merger of Starion Instruments with a bigger firm and/or (3) the acquisition of another firm that will allow them to manufacture, distribute, market and sell the product at a cheaper and more efficient manner.Current State: Currently, Starion is the one of the world leaders on surgical device development. It has expanded worldwide distribution of its proprietary tissue welding technology to physicians in North America, Europe, the Middle East, Africa, and Asia. Last year the Society of Laparoendoscopic Surgeons named Starion Instruments the 2007 Innovator of the Year for the development of its next-generation Tissue Ligating Shears which use its innovative cut and cauterizing technology.Since the launch of their original Cautery Forceps, Starion has created an entire line of Forceps and Ligating Shears which can all be viewed on their website http://www. starioninstruments. com/products. html. They are still a privately held company which is astounding given their tremendous success. This is not surprising given the fact that the first time they were offered to be bought out they declined. This has kept the leadership at the mercy of the owners and founders and will provide a unique company such as Starion the ability to continue providing innovative, cost efficient, and quality

Wednesday, October 23, 2019

A Small Excerpt From My Autobiography Essay

Insecurity shrouded me like a cold blanket. I wanted to cry, but the tears evaded my pale cheeks, held back by the numbness, the shrill, shrieking numbness that flowed though my veins chilling my blood. Comprehension escaped my every thought. My entire world had just collapsed instantaneously, like a fragile tower built from a pack of old decrepit playing cards. Yet my skeleton held me tall, erect and fixed to the spot. A manikin’s existence seemed comparable to mine. These thoughts and feelings can never be erased. They seem to be impregnated into the very structure of my biological make up, as if they are, in some strange way, a new set of genes. Provoked into action by a sight, sound or smell, each time the grooves of these emotions become etched deeper into my whole existence. Forgiveness being my salvation. Memory my tormentor. My mother’s death has left a long lasting rippling effect on my life and I am sure my brother’s too. To some extent it even spills over into my children’s lives. My children’s days have lacked the richness most grandmothers radiate to the existence of their grandchildren; their caring hands, their warm, gentle touch, their unchallenging, patient ear; knowledge and wisdom that only our elders possess through life experiences; wise words that may have infiltrated and enriched my children’s thoughts, shaping, moulding and inspiring even an infinitesimal part of their lives. But they are to naive or could it be to innocent to understand how this would affect their own mortality. I was six, just a baby really. When I look at my own children I get totally blown away. Blown away by the whole impact of this entire life-changing event. Even now as an adult I’m not sure if I could cope with such a traumatic experience. How did I cope that morning when I was awoken by the strange sounds of hushed voices? I do not even remember who told me; was not a member of my family. Not a single warming comforting face amongst any of them. From that moment on, my brothers, one younger, aged eighteen months and one older than myself, aged eight, lived with our grandparents and our aunt and uncle. We were whisked away from our roots that were, never to be returned to, or to be mentioned again; until we as adults felt the need to retrace, recollect and look at things in hindsight for our own satisfaction and personal needs. Many times I pondered and dwelt on the notion of revisiting those past concrete visions, visions edited by my own fair hand, captured and stored in the archives of my own being. At times, I wonder if I have all the pieces. I wonder if I collated and collected them as it really was. Did I miss something? Was that intentional? Do I really need to add, adjust or amend my visions and knowledge of that day? The ones I have become so accustomed to. Do I wish to discard my comfortable old slippers in exchange for a new pair that may irritate and cause blisters? These questions pose an eternal dilemma within me. I do have a wont, a desirer, a yearning you may call it, a yearning, which burns, burns for the truth. Yet truth has a partner, a partner called fear. This enormous fear hangs over me, like a guillotine hangs above the head of its victim. Would Mother Nature call that self-preservation? A disguised, darken angel, sent to protect me from the ills of truth? My life was totally transformed that spring morning. I was propelled out of a secure, warm, safe and caring environment, into a world that seemed at the time like a cold, stark, lonely and barren existence. This place was miles (not only in distance, but in emotion) from my normal surroundings. As an adult, I can compare the contrast of these two different settings with slightly more rationality. But then, all of those years ago, at that very moment in my life, analysing and evaluating the structural and materialistic things around me must have seemed an insignificant notion to have. I could not think about, let alone analyse, anything beyond my own tormented feelings of sheer pain, anguish, neglect, betrayal and above all anger. Yes anger! This was by far the overriding feeling. At times the anger was quashed by guilt, yet this sense of guilt burned deep inside fuelling the fire of the anger once more. Anger that my mother had left; disappeared, forever out of my life. Bereft of the tender, loving, affectionate hands that so often comforted me and tucked me neatly onto my warm, cosy bed. This bedtime thought always evoked copious tears to drench my pillow late at night. How dare my mother do that! Did she not know that parents live forever? Did she not realise that I would be the one that would be left to take the role of mother to her youngest son, my brother? This accolade I did not wish for. I was far too young to grasp the enormity of this duty bestowed upon me by circumstances. As a child you invent mysterious coping strategies to evade the inevitable truth. For weeks, after the death of my mother, denial was my master. I would slowly unfasten my eyes, as dawn’s uncaring hand stirred me from my serene slumber, shutting them firmly again in a flash. My logic at this age made perfect sense, I thought that if I did not see the world, then it did not exist. If the world did not exist, then I was not part of it either. If I were not part of the world, logic would have it, that I must be somewhere else. So if I were somewhere else, then that awful event had not really occurred and pain would no longer consume me. Consequently, if I were no longer in pain, it stood to reason that my mother would still be alive. At this point my body would swiftly transport me back to truth, the grinding of my empty stomach would compel me to open my eyes once more. As a child I always hoped that my eyes would be my betrayer; visions of dreams that could be dispelled and forgotten in a trice. Once again I would ardently shut my eyes, mustering up the entirety of my thoughts and powers in a last ditched attempt to dispel those awful, distressing events, hoping that they were all just feigned.